Archives May 2023

Ever since I learned about Scrum and Agile back in 2000, I have been using them, but as an Agile Coach/Practitioner, I still have 2 glaring blindsides:

1. I’ve never experienced Agile Failure
and
2. I’ve yet to try Agile at Scale…

If I look online and in Agile Meetup Groups it is easy to get 2nd hand experience with failure and horrible “war” stories, but (at least in my own opinion) I never tried such failure myself.

My “problem” is that I was only in a single company over 19 years, and while I have been part of countless projects, my biggest team ever over the years was 11 people… But I’m yet to try to directly lead people into failure on the product or the people side (Yes, there have been minor bumps along the way, but never true failure)

Question: Why have I never seen failure?
I don’t see myself as someone good at following a specific method, and I typically just apply passion and what I see as common sense to a situation, so why have I not seen failure?

• Have I just been Lucky with the people I’ve worked with?
• Have I just not tried working with a big enough team/company?
• Have I just not tried having a bad enough upper management?

I honestly don’t know; hence this odd request…

I’m seeking someone out there that owns or is in charge of a bigger company/team/product that is struggling to implement/use Agile right now, that will allow me (for free) to try and observe/assist/help…

I can’t promise that I magically can turn the fail or struggle around, so the worst case for you is that I get to experience failure along with you which is what I’m after to help me grow… The best case can of course be hoped for, but no promises…

Is anyone brave enough out there to try
and help me with this “mad” experiment?

(If you are then reach out on Email or LinkedIn)

So, roughly 3 weeks ago, during a lecture at a café in town, I fainted…

During the talk I got more and more dizzy while listening, I tried to get up and out to get some air, walked a few steps, and then (I’m told) I walked straight into a wall and fell to the ground… ~10 seconds later I woke up with people standing over me asking if I was OK, sweating and not knowing what just happened 😕…

Why?

I’ve never had such an experience in my life, and while I was not seriously hurt (sore ribs from the impact of the wall was the only physical injury),  talking to a medical professional over the phone afterward, I was told that it is commonly known as Syncope in medical terms, and while no urgency, I should book a consultation with my doctor… So I did for the next day, and after a sleepless night, the “medical rigamarole” started…

Me, and the Medical System

While I’m grateful for living in a country with free (paid via tax) and professional medical care, I’m not a heavy user of the system (this was my first visit to a medical facility in 12 years… (not counting Covid Shots)).

Am I scared of doctors?; not as such; they are nice people too 😉, but as a worst-case scenario thinker and a control freak, I feel so out of control in a world I know very little about (and researching it on the internet certainly only make you feel worse)… so while what I’ve been through is not unique or extreme it was a fear of the unknown experience.

“Blissful” ignorance

Just before going into the talk with the Doctor, I felt fine (less stress being my own boss now, recently lost 20kg, and in the best shape of my life, running every day). 15 min later however I was told my blood pressure was way way way too high and was urged to come back for a blood sample the next day… Again, thousands of others hear the same every day and to sometimes harder degrees, but remember as a worst-case-scenario thinker, and with a fear of needles on top, it ended up with another sleepless night of worrying.

“Measure and you shall become sick”…

This subtitle is unfair to the medical profession (sorry). Still, the blood work “of cause” showed various “common” things wrong with me (too much cholesterol, and so on), so after the first follow-up in which I was told I needed to lose weight and exercise even more to avoid blood pressure medicine, I needed another more fancy blood test (yay, more needles… 😓). Again everyone has been nice and helpful, but it of cause is forgotten when you are “forced” into something you really don’t want to and are scared of…

Silver lining

So now after 3 weeks of worry, reacting, and fearing every little sign my body gives me (the ones that are normal and you don’t notice in normal life, but become, “a thing” when you are hyper-aware), I’ve finally, and luckily been told by my doctor that while I should take care of myself more (already on it; and a good wakeup call to continue weight loss that had plateaued recently), I “only” need a follow-up in 6 months.

Moral?

Is there any? Properly not, but writing these words (as is the core reason for this blog) helped me, so “Rasmus, the fearful” can get on with his life and live it to the fullest… Will I be OK? Most likely, like the rest of you out there…