Today, one year ago, I left Boyum, the workforce (for now) & the SAP Business One community to rediscover myself and find passion… I started this blog back then called “Rasmus 2.0 – The journey to the next passion in life” (if you are interested in why I left it is summarized here)

Let me give you an update on everything,
since it’s been a while since I posted…

In order to give you the best update I went back and re-read this blog myself for the first time; It was Interesting to read again, and reflecting today I think I was in a bigger mess than I remembered in the beginning, but it is interesting to observe that things evolved much faster than I remembered with most of the changes happening in the first 3 months (it felt longer to find myself, but apparently not)… Well; on to the update

Fitness and Health

One year ago I was already running 3 times a week, but the last year really upped running for me; I started running every single day and only stopped that practice recently (more on that later) with a total run streak of 333 days in a row of running. In the beginning, it was short runs and very slow, but that changed in 2023 when I upped the game by running longer (This year I have 2 Half-Marathons and over 1000 Km of running so far, and the classic 5K time that in the past was just under “mystical” 30 min, is now down to 24 min (something I thought would never happen))

It is not all good though, with me having a medical scare back in May, and another one in early September resulting in an acute doctor’s appointment with chest pains and a trip to the hospital to get my heart examined by ultrasound (yes it sucks getting older)… The examination results were luckily positive (my heart is fine) and instead, it is most likely something called Costochondritis from running too much and too often (hence the end of the running streak)

I’m back out running again; just not every single day which is btw. the smart thing to do anyway, and the plan is to slowly ramp up distance, for the rest of the year, to be able to run a real marathon next year 🤞

Mindfulness

This was a big topic of mine one year ago. It was insightful, but after a while, I did not feel I needed it anymore (not as an active activity). I think however recently that because of “work” (more later), “Work-Thoughts” slowly began dominating my mind again so might be time for a re-visit of Mindfulness by re-reading some of the books I did a year ago.

“Work” (“Games”, “Open Source” and “Business Coaching”)

A year ago I was not only burned out on work, but Code/Development in general… I felt it was “too hard” and had no future… For that reason, I tried alternative development in Unity Game Development, and while it re-kindled my love for Code, it became more of a hobby (and lately not touched anymore really)… My real passion is back for “real” code in the form of Open Source Development, Automation, and Reporting Software, as part of my day-to-day “work”… It is wonderful to feel this way again.

And the “work” nowadays in “Technical Business Coach” as I call it through my company Sensum365.com, where I, for free, help smaller companies reach their full potential. I primarily help 2 companies at the moment, and it is a joy to see improvements with low commitment ties… Yes; many still don’t understand why I do it for free, which has been the hardest thing to explain.

Practically the work is between part-time to full-time now, being my own boss, and it is nice but not 100% perfect, so I’m not totally ruling out building either my own products (have a few ideas) or getting back to something a bit more structured with a real employment again of some sort… but not in a rush…

Regrets?

So do I have any regrets, a year down the line?… Not really… Could the process have been slightly better looking back; yes, but the process was the healing, and I think everything along the way was needed. But one thing is for sure; It was the right decision for me, and one can only speculate what a continued out-of-balance life + medical scares could have led to; scary stuff….

Future

So what will happen going forward? I’m in a good mix right now, but am still tweaking and searching for even better happiness… There is still a longing for something I can’t set my finger quite on, so will keep searching… Like the rest of you out there…

(The 2023 Plan)

3 months; That is now the amount of time that has passed since I changed my life after 19 years in the Software Industry. Luckily it has been 3 really good months and they have flown by which I see as a positive thing… They have been full of me “rediscovering” myself and though I’m still largely the same “me” it is a more relaxed and happy “me” with a bigger perspective on life that the “old me” was way too busy to notice.

So now we stand in a new year with a new “improved me” and the committed original “3 months think period” now over… So what now; what’s in store for 2023?

To find that out I sat down for 60 min to come up with a set of statements that came directly from the heart and mind… Here are the statements that came out of that (in the order they arrived) and I will allow those to define my 2023…

“Remember to enjoy life. Not everything needs plans and checklists”

“Unity Game Development is fun but more in a hobby way than a full-time job”

“Health and Fitness do not feel like a chore anymore so embrace it. It is good now and for the future”

“I still want ties to the IT industry but in a less committed role”

“Work areas of Agile and Usability are a joy to work with”

“#Give’ism feels awesome”

“I want to be my own boss controlling the tempo”

“I don’t want a full-time job anymore”

“Give travel a try”

“Embrace slow living and minimalism even more”

Given above are here the Rasmus 2.0 plan for 2023…

Work 🏢

I will return to the work-life, but not in a traditional sense…

I started my own one-man company around Agile Coaching and Usability Testing. The untraditional part is that I will offer the initial services to companies for free (aka #Give’ism; later people are allowed to pay me if they so desire, but only after they feel I have brought them value). On the flip side, I will be very opinionated on who I choose as clients and have every right to say no or end a working relationship if the passion disappears or the client does not commit to self-improvement (this is a partnership toward betterment after all).

In this way, I can contribute to making the IT Industry better, but on simple terms and with very low binding commitment (as in I will still be ultra professional and work hard, but without the ties of money, employment or partnership can have).

I created this dedicated page for this where you can learn more about my philosophy of this and how to contact me for an initial meeting: https://www.rwj.dk/business

Hobby 🕹️

My passion for creativity and code will be satisfied day to day by keeping Unity Gaming around as a Hobby … Game Development is really fun, but I also need to be honest with myself and acknowledge that the passion comes in bursts and are not there every single day so Game Development fits better as a Hobby than “work”. My goal is still to build and release a Tower Defense game, but, it will take longer to complete in this form, and will not give me guilt feelings if there is a day/week here and there where there is no mood to code. You can get more details on my games here: https://www.rwj.dk/unity-game-development (and in this blog post)

Health and Fitness 👟

Reserving more time for this part of my life will persist as it brings balance from working, so I will keep all the good habits from the last 3 months as is. I will also experiment with focus weeks to allow travel and slow living. You can get more stats on my health and fitness here: https://www.rwj.dk/fitness

Other Tweaks

I will try to focus less on Weekly Goals and checklists and instead feel and reflect on what feels right at the moment to further break my too-structured habits.

What about the blog in 2023?

That is a good question… I started it as a tool to help with the transition, and it has helped immensely so its purpose is essentially over. I could do various things:

1. Close the blog down entirely
2. Keep it but with an ad-hoc posting, schedule know I might run out of things to say soon.
3. Give it a new focus in the area of Agile and Usability

But I will leave it up to you readers so please write in the comments what you would like to see here for 2023

So that is the 2023 plan… Will it work (I hope)? Is it naive (Perhaps)? Will it need change (likely)?
Only time can tell, but right now I feel good about it, so let’s all hope for an awesome 2023 for all of us
Take Care… 🧠❤️

After my ramblings about happiness (and a bunch of other things) 2 weeks ago, I began asking myself “Is this a Midlife Crisis”?… It was something I already thought of fleetingly just around my leaving and had put it on the list of blog topics, but until 2 weeks ago, I had not really thought about it more…

Well, no more, and in true “Rasmus” style, I ended up analyzing a bunch of YouTube videos and webpages on the topic, trying to figure out if I was in that “state”.

Let’s start with the definition

A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 40 to 60 years old. The phenomenon is described as a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person’s growing age, inevitable mortality, and possibly lack of accomplishments in life. This may produce feelings of intense depression, remorse, and high levels of anxiety, or the desire to achieve youthfulness or make drastic changes to their current lifestyle, or feel the wish to change past decisions and events.

Sounds like “scary” stuff and It’s true that some studies show a decline in life satisfaction and happiness as people reach midlife. But it’s important to note that the drop in happiness isn’t always large. And, in some studies, people’s satisfaction with life seems to rise as they enter midlife and then decline as they enter their later years. So, for many people, “crisis” isn’t the appropriate term to describe their midlife experience. In studies, only about 10 to 20 percent of adults claim to have experienced a midlife crisis (way fever than I expected and what popular culture let us believe, but then again some might not wish to acknowledge it, so numbers might be higher)

Signs

Below are 29 signs of a midlife crisis and my personal analysis of them (Yes, I’m a nerd 🤓)

Sign	Result	Analysis
Impulse behavior	❌	Not been on a buying spree (Sorry Red Porsche dealers) 😉 Not doing anything impulsive (and no, quitting my job was not impulsive, it was a decision that took years)
You have Regrets	✅ ❌	I do have regrets about the work/life balance, but beyond that, there is nothing to regret (a successful career beyond my dreams and a healthy economy),
Your Life suddenly has no meaning	✅	While not all the time, there are glimpses of this, and I ultimately let to the burnout, having almost only meh days. I was worse in the past but still not 100% back to feeling meaningful.
Things that used to give you purpose, don’t anymore	✅	Work certainly in the end felt like it gave very little purpose despite it of cause objectively did.
You feel a Sense of urgency	❌	I almost have the opposite feeling that all I wanted in life professionally have already happened, and I do not feel a need for family or children like most others might do.
You have Financial insecurities	❌	Being a partner in a company for 19 years with stock options certainly makes you privileged not to have these issues 🙏😇🍀
You Feel you have to change everything	✅	Fitness and Mindfulness come to mind, though done similar Fitness “trips” in the past… But I certainly in a short period of time changed a ton of habits!
You are Feeling your own mortality	❌	No fears, No health issues other than knee pains from time to time…
You Argue with yourself	✅ ❌	I do that, but at the same time, if that is a sign, I’ve been having it for the last 20+ years 😉
You are Growing jealous of others	❌	Nope…
You feel Easy things are now hard	✅	Definitely think that about Software Development, but other areas of life are about the same.
Past success doesn’t satisfy	✅	While I still love my baby project (B1 Usability Package), the same passion as before was just not there despite countless more opportunities.
You feel apathetic like everything is a waste of time	✅	It certainly happens
You don’t want to get out of bed	✅ ❌	Before leaving work at the end; Yes Now; No!
You have no real goals, and so you are drifting from day to day	✅ ❌	This one is a maybe… I have goals but I doubt myself if I’m ‘strong enough to see them through… Forfeling goals set, is so much easier in mind, than in real life.
You lack purpose, seeing little to look forward to and work towards	✅ ❌	The goals are worth looking forward to and working on, but it is just hard and lofty goals, that doubt creep in if they are worth pursuing (sort of lack of purpose)
You have decreasing hope that the future is going to be any better	✅	Previous success makes it feel unlikely that I am going to hit yet another lucky homerun… Acknowledge and trying to accept this helps, but ego sure puts up a fight…
You are considering making radical, uncharacteristic changes to your appearance	❌	Unless weight loss counts 😉
You’re considering walking away from your past success	✅	Done that already by leaving work
You are more afraid than you used to be, and you tend to get defensive easily but have become less assertive	❌	Absolutely not
You wonder if you are going crazy – you don’t understand why you are thinking what you are thinking, and it is disturbing	✅ ❌	Not as such, everything is still evaluated, but I still give it a 50/50 here as the evaluation feels harder.
You may be still achieving things – ticking off projects – but it isn’t bringing you happiness	✅	Was certainly an issue before leaving, and still is to a lesser degree… But still in love with checkmarks ☑️☑️☑️😉
You look back on the ‘good old days’ wishfully when you were physically fitter, more attractive, and had fewer responsibilities	❌	Never crossed my mind…
You are developing a new passion for extreme exercise, bodybuilding, or a new style	✅	Fitness Yes, but don’t expect me to sign up for any bodybuilding competitions 😉
You feel like your time is all taken up by the demands of others and after all that, you have none left for what you want to do	✅ ❌	Before leaving Job consumed me, but that has happened last 20 years, but of cause after leaving there is plenty of me time.
Your sleep is poor. You resist going to bed, don’t get enough hours of sleep, and may have broken sleep as well	✅ ❌	Before leaving work at the end; Yes Now; No (Never had a better sleep routine)
You are looking up what old friends and old girlfriends are doing now	❌	Nope, Facebook is as underutilized as ever 😉
People are noticing a growing (out of character) frequency of emotional outbursts, such as anger.	✅ ❌	Before leaving this was bubbling up at times more than usual, but that does not happen in the new day today; quite opposite!
Search for “midlife crises” on Google and YouTube	✅	Guilty as charged 😉

Summary

So with 20 checkmarks (✅) and 18 X (❌), it is not 100% set in stone, but my own belief is:

Yes, I’m having a midlife crisis

More specifically, I think this has been quietly brewing for a few years and topped this year (2022) a month or so before leaving my Job… I’m not naive to think that it “is over”, but I think the top (aka most negative stuff) is behind me… But of cause, only time can tell…

This is a Good thing!

Now you might be sitting reading this, thinking: “Oh, no, that’s sad… Poor Rasmus”…

Well, Don’t!… To me, I see this as a good thing, feeling much happier than I did 2-3 months ago… It was exactly the “kick” I needed (might be my body and mind telling me this), and also the best way to deal with it is to acknowledge it, accept it and talk about it with others (hence this post; heck the entire blog!)

Don’t see it as bad but instead embrace and explore it…

And there is still nothing to regret… Leaving was still the right thing to do (Imagine the opposite, with a slow building of anger, resentment, outbursts, and ruining past success)… Better quit while being on top, and start the second part of life… In my case Rasmus 2.0

So to others out there, don’t be afraid, concerned, or otherwise… This is a blessing in disguise for me at least, but the worst you can do is not talk about it and struggle on your own.

Be safe out there, and see you next week

Last week I wrote about happiness, and as part of that I mentioned that I might be planning too much instead of doing what I truly want, and if that might reduce my overall happiness. For that reason, I mentioned that my Weekly goal was to have no goals and do everything on pure desire/want for a week.

While the past week was perhaps not the most “normal” with, more than normal, amount of social activities (Bank Meetings, Lectures, Coaching, Boardgaming and even a Diamond Wedding in the Family), I think it still gives value to dedicate this post to the out on what happened more or less

Remember also to enjoy it…

On 3 separate occasions this week, I was directly reminded of this by someone (most of them not reading the blog)… What are freedom and a privileged situation worth, if you spend all your time planning… I often blame others for going on vacations that they overplan too much (“scheduling every minute of the vacation to see the site, etc.”) resulting in them needing relaxation after the vacation (aka a vacation from the vacation), but reflecting, It seems that I do just the same, but with my life… The past week with no plans showed glimpses of that, and indicate to me that I need to go with the flow a bit more and enjoy it instead of thinking of it as a checkmark, that can be checked off… (Thank you to the people that reminded me over the week🙏)

It was a long week; in a good way

So now that the past week is over, I feel it was a lifetime ago since it was last Monday, sitting and writing about Happiness. If I did not have a calendar I could have sworn that some of the things during the week feels like 2-3 weeks ago.

Normally something feeling long is a bad thing, but here and now it just feels like “a good long week where lots of nice and interesting things happened”. I think it was because the week was so varied; it did not feel like “another week doing x,y,z…”. It just feels good and there is a desire for the same/more going forward.

The week in summary (what was more and what was less)

Here are the changes to the usual stuff I do, when desire controls over planned and reflection on the various topics.

Fitness

Even acting on pure desire, the want to be active is still very much in place. Running every morning is a delightful routine (it feels so good after) and the perfect start of the day for me. I’m slowly ramping up the length of the runs (still keeping a watchful eye on my knees), but the feeling of being in better shape overall is all worth it.
The same goes for walks, which I do way more often now (on average I run/walk at least 10k each day) [I walk instead of bike/bus to all activities I need to do if they are less than 5k from my home]… Helping with the motivation is also my Apple Watch that I bought purely for Run and Sleep back in October, but I now wear it all day… It gently reminds me to stand up from the computer and closing the rings has become a joyful “goal” each day 🙂 I can strongly recommend it despite not seeing the big deal about smart watches for years…

Sleep

Sleep during the week is overall better (average is finally over 7h), with one low hour-amount day… As it is getting colder and darker outside I’ve started to sleep a bit later (going later to bed so still the same amount of hours) so running is not too cold and in complete darkness.

Mindfulness

I’ve scaled back active mindfulness back a bit only doing 10 min instead of 15 each morning/evening and most focusing on breathing exercises as that type of meditation works best for me it seems. I see mindfulness as something to incorporate as much as possible in regular activity and direct meditation as a tool to overcome occasional stress or “too many thoughts”… Do think I will soon revisit my mindfulness book, to see if there is a “next step” in the practice, or things are good as they are.

Food and Weight

Pure want vs food made me realize that my meals and choices had become a bit too samey. So during the week I mixed it up a bit more and indulged a bit more from time to time; though still staying away from fast food! The result has been nice experience-wise and has resulted in no change on the scale (good but also bad wanting to achieve a better BMI). The week has thought me to not be so strict that it ruins the good food experience, but also that it is one of my weak spots that I need to somewhat keep a check on… I might experiment with intermittent fasting (done so in the past with great success), but also incorporate a “cheat day” to get a better balance toward the goal.

Work (Game Development)

This one is a bit odd. At the start of the week, not having a schedule for game development made me not do it at all for the first 3 days (the extra social activities during the week also contributed). At first, I got a bit discouraged that Game development might not be my new passion after all since “I don’t want to do it”. However, after the 3 days, I began to have a “longing” to work on the game at odd hours (often afternoon/night), and when I first sat down based on want, I sat there for a longer time than my planned 4 hours a day. Last day of the week (Sunday), for the first time I think I was truly “in the zone” of game-development feeling so much joy. So It seems the fixed game-development schedule is not working at the moment and I should react purely on desire here (seems to produce roughly the same amount of progress, but at odd hours and in bursts instead).

On top of game development, I also think it is soon time to experiment with my second passion; Agile Development Processes… More on that in later posts…

Social

While still in Introvert and social stuff is “tiring”, the extra of it this week really felt great and gave more variation to the week, so I will go the extra mile and out of my way to try and “dare” to participate in more social stuff… So far I have only been positive despite being “scary” and out of my comfort zone… Small steps…

So that was everything for this time… I’m going to run this week the same as the last, but only write about it, if the is a dramatic change; else this is a new way forward that fit me best at the moment

Have a nice week everyone and thank you for all that follow my ramblings here…
(I’m still overwhelmed that so many find value in what is just “therapy writing” for me) 😉

Warning: This week’s post ended up being all over the place, so might not be too coherent, but the process of writing all the topics gave me too much to throw any of it away, but now you are warned 😉

Are Structure, Routine, and Ambition killing Happiness?

Above is an open question and not a conclusion, as I honestly don’t know, but lately, I’ve been reflecting on how I spend my time and why I spend it the way I do.

Those who know me, know I’ve always been very structured and leaving little to chance. In my previous job that was absolutely key as there was so much to do that it made me on the one hand successful, but on the other hand, slowly contributed to the burnout.

So when I left back in October and wanted to start anew, I knew that at the start I should experiment a lot and try new things and different ways to do them… I did that and while odd in the beginning it was liberating.

But slowly I got a handle on things and the new normal started to form (see Week 5 blog post for more), and with that came structure; perhaps a bit too much structure…

Hardest boss I ever had…

I’m now my own boss in everything, and this boss has an enormous ambition level!

• Make an awesome Tower Defense Mobile Game and make it a success!
• Become in you best shape of your life!
• Do it all while being mindful to yourself and others!

So I do not have a “real” job anymore, but in the last few weeks, the structures and goals in place are resulting in me “working” all 7 days a week toward the above goal, and doing little more than the following every day

• Morning Routine
  • Wake up @ 07:00
  • Meditate
  • Morning Run
• Work (Unity Game Development)
• Fitness
• Evening Routine
  • Evening Walk
  • Meditation
  • Read
  • Sleep @ 22:00

I’m not saying that above is not nice and privileged that I can do this instead of work, but I’m unsure if this much structure is not killing spontaneity and true happiness???

As an example; even in my busy life before the change I saw TV series and Movies from time to time; something that has not happened in the last 1.5 months of freedom because there was “no time” on the schedule for it… (I am making it a bit black and white here; I have participated in entertainment, but just in a different way because “free time” and “work time” are so mixed up).

Looking back to my leaving announcement on LinkedIn I wrote this:

“So I need to re-balance; I need to find the spark again; I need something that consumes me less…“

Well, I for sure re-balanced something, and I am in pursuit of the new spark (Unity Game development is a good candidate for sure), but “the nature of me” might have thrown the balance scales off to something that is equally unbalanced, and consuming me too much…

What is happiness?

Yes, I know; All the above is 1st world problem, but it truly is a balance, and It is easy and privileged “not to work” but is it happiness?… what is happiness in general? If you google it you get this?

But my logical brain is not happy with that statement; So am I happy enough?; How to check? What is my happiness score and how do I compare to others (because of cause my ego wants to rank high)?…

This article is a good try at least to answer that and a recommended read, but being a subjective topic I will never get my “Score”.

My “worst-case scenario thinking” brain ruins everything!

I mentioned it in passings before, and people that know me best, know I have a severe case of “worst-case scenario thinking” and while I will explore this topic in a future blog post, I do believe at it is one of my great “enemies” in the pursuit of happiness, especially when it comes to social and relationship…

Peaked too early?

This one might be odd, but I sometimes “wish” I was in my 60s and soon to go on retirement, as I could look back on what I have accomplished (success, money), and now start my retirement “happy” that I would be done “performing”… But I’m not in my 60s, I’m in my 40s and there are 20 more years till I should think this way, and I find it scary that I need to come up with 20 years more of “brilliance” (yes; the ego sure does not find average good enough!) of contributions to some community like I did in the SAP Business One community… I try to convince myself that this is not that important, but in weak moments fail to do so.

Week 47 Experiment: A week without plans!

So I started this post with a question: “Are Structure, Routine, and Ambition killing Happiness?“, and to “find out”, I’m going to try and leave structure, routine, and ambition behind (as much as possible) for the week 47, and instead try and live these days on pure desire and “wish” instead of need on everything, and see where that takes me… Gonna be interesting to see if that is possible and where it will lead me to…

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Appendix: Here are the new and previous goal results

Hi all, not much to share from last week, other than plan described last week are being followed and Weekly goals are being met (except for weight goal, where I’m stuck again and need to research why that is as I think I’m doing all the right things)…

Because not too much to talk about this week, I’ve decided that this post would be an AMA (Ask me Anything), so if you have a question to the blog, the journey or me, please ask them in the comments below (or ask them on LinkedIn)… Don’t be shy 😀

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Appendix: Here are the new and previous goal results

Hi, all. In today’s post, I will try to describe my new life and what I spend my time on now vs before leaving.

Time distribution

As mentioned earlier, before leaving, I spent way too much time working and too little on everything else… Here is an approximation of the average time spent per day in percentage. aka not a good work-life balance.

After leaving and the adjustment period things have changed and there is much more diversification to my day, and a lot less work… One thing hower is that since I am in 100% control of my own structure the workdays vs weekends are blurred aways, so not making any distintions at the moment (I’m still evaluation if that is a good or bad thing…)

Let me describe each area in greater detail…

Work (45% >> 20%)

Work time is roughly cut down to half, simply prioritizing other things. Right now the “work” is Unity Game Development, which is more school than work at the moment, where I follow an online set of courses. The training plan is as follows

• Complete C# Unity Game Developer 2D (18,5 hours – 87% done as of this writing – You can try the sample games made during the course below (all require mouse/keyboard))
  • Try Game 1 (Car pickup and Delivery Game)
  • Try Game 2 (Snow Boarder Game)
  • Try Game 3 (WW2 Quiz Game)
  • Try Game 4 (Platformer)
• Learn how to create a 2D Tower Defense Game in Unity 2021 (8 hours)
• Unity 2D Dungeon Gunner Roguelike Development Course (51 hours)

While hard (long time since I was in school mode) I have promised myself to stick with learning before I start my own project, which is a hybrid of Diablo and Tower Defense set in a time-travel theme. The goal is to make the game a get it published, with long long-term goals of making a cross-over board game with the same theme… More about the project when we get closer…

Sleep (23% >> 33%)

I slept way too little in the past thinking I could get by with 5-6 hours a day (and now known after a recent lecture on sleep that that self-estimation of enough sleep is an illusion the mind trick you into thinking). So I have a fixed Sleep schedule of 23:00 >> 07:00 every day including weekends with an hour wind down from 22:00 when my devices enter Screen Time mode making them impossible to use. Instead before bed, I do 15 min Meditation and 30 min of reading a book (right now I’m reading the Rama Series)

Me time / Household (30% >> 30%)

I’m maintaining current “Me time” that covers personal time, household chores, cooking/shopping, and that sort of things, so nothing special to report there other than trying to keep down watching TV/Streaming services and spending time on making healthy food over fast food… Generally making the Me timer more qualitative!

Health/Fitness (1% >> 10%)

This is one of the big new ones. Where in the old days did a short run 3 times a week and an occasional walk, I now run every morning, have a walk almost every day, and fitness center multiple times a week. The goal is to cause weight loss I’ve spoken about before, but also to build up a much better base of healthiness with a sustainable way of living as I get older reducing chances of lifestyle diseases.

Mindfullness (0% >> 5%)

While I in the past was fasinated with the practice, I never “did something about it”. Now I do 2x 15 min of Meditations (Morning and Evening) and and ad-hoc during the day in the small moments.
I’m also investing time in understanding the theory behind the practice (as much as that can be done). I also try (and often still fail) to be more “in the moment” and being better at just listening to others instead of being obsessed with feeding the ego (it is so so hungry still 😉)

Social (1% >> 2%)

I’ve never had the need to big social things (being an extrovert), but I’m forcing myself to do more online/in person events/lectures/gatherings to be better at it and to compensate for not having colleages anymore.

So ther you have it, what I’m doing in my new life.
Feel free to leave any questions or comments below;
See you next week 😊

It has now been a month since I stopped working (the most extended period in my life not working since 2004), so time for some status.

Overall, I feel happy and in balance 😀😀😀. Despite weirdness and long days at the beginning and a few stumbling blocks along the way (as expected), I feel I’m off to a great start, with healthy routines, better sleep quality, and better tools for contemplating how I can be the best version of myself.

Learning (Unity) is also off to a great start and it is fun although daunting at times (Will write some more on Unity in the future)

I also got a great understanding, encouragement, and tips from former colleagues, family, coach, and friends about hard and often “taboo” topics through good long talks so I don’t feel alone on the journey (it means more than you realize; so thank you all once again).

I don’t think I could not have gotten a better start to Rasmus 2.0 🥰

So it is now onwards to Month 2 with a focus on maintaining the established balance and further enhancing the building of the new professional passion that is Unity Game Development for now…

See you next week, and take care…

Week 43 Goals results for reference…

Goal	Result
3 x Fitness Center	2 🙁
Weight: 108,4 >> 107 kg or less	106,6 Kg 🙂 (Weight plateau finally over due to great tip from former Colleague; Thanks ALC!)
5 Walks	5 🙂
2 Sections of the Unity learning course	2 + a bit 🙂

Goals for week 44

This week is rather busy with meetings and other stuff so I lowered the fitness goals a bit this week (having the time for them is a bonus). Getting the Unity Course done is a bit optimistic, but let’s see…

1. Raise average weekly sleep time above 7 hours by paying more attention to fewer devices end of the day (currently 6,46 hours average per week)
2. 2 x Fitness Center
3. Weight: 106,6 >> 105,5 kg or less
4. 3 Walks
5. 2 final sections of the first Unity Course are done (very ambitious!)
6. 2 Morning runs should be 4km instead of the normal 2km

When I made the change to pursue a new journey 3 weeks ago, it was with minimum plans but I still had set myself some goals prior to what I wanted for Rasmus 2.0. Here are the 3 overall goals I wrote down:

1. Become Healthier
   • More exercise
   • Loose 25kg (from 120kg down to 95kg)
2. Explore Mindfulness
   • Meditation
3. Get a new Career/Passion/Goal in life
   • Make a computer game?
   • Make a board game?
   • Become an Agile Coach?

I do not think anyone can say these are bad goals, and there is even a bit of breakdown into sub-goals, but what I’m beginning to realize now is that my brain’s impatience need even more breakdown because if we just look at this raw:

Goal	Achieve?
More exercise	😊 (Yes, more)
Loose 25 kg	☹️ (Not there yet)
Meditation	😕 (Maybe)
Make a computer game	☹️ (Not done)
Make a board game	☹️ (Not done)
Become an agile coach	☹️ (Not yet)

Being this black and white on achieved/not achieved, is of cause a bit absurd (some of the “goals” I have not even started to explore yet), but my brain, which like many others, craves instant gratification and success will at a weak moment see myself as a total failure and while it is of cause wrong, it is demotivating… Let’s take my weight loss goal as an example for the rest of this post:

History of my weight/weight loss

I’ve always been big, doing too little exercise, and eating too much, having only been below 100kg in the last 10 years in 2016 when I got into a healthy rhythm (after feeling poor health and hitting, back then, the high of 110kg)…

I don’t recall why I relapsed because honestly 2016 felt awesome, but as you can see above it has only gotten worse since then hitting as high as 122kg (I can begin to blame stress, covid, or any other things, but who cares… it was bad… something needed to be done)

Start is easy; patience is a virtue I don’t have 🙁

Given the high starting numbers and the “way I work”; once I set my mind to it, I always find it easy in the beginning, but then I always end up in a state of “this is easy; I can slack a bit” 🙁

So, as you can see I’ve lost 10+ kg in the last 3 months (awesome), but in the last 2 of the months only 2 of the kgs have been achieved, despite those months being where I tried the most, and that is demotivating 😥

Weight is not the only measure!

So, should I just give up and go back to my old habits, since this does not help, and do the bursts every time my weight hit 120 kg and bump it down to 110 kg?

No!, Instead I need to realize that this is not only about weight but about overall health… So what if I weigh 110 kg and not the desired 95kg… Let’s measure in different ways:

• I feel more energized (yes, no way to “measure” but why should that matter!)
• My Fat % is dropping a bit more than my weight (so the same “amount of me” kg-wise, but better types of me (more muscle, less fat))!
• My morning runs are faster (6:30/km in August, now it is 06:10/km)
• My consumption of fast food is way down (6 times in September, 1 time in October), and overall eating much healthier foods
• Various people notice I lost weight 🙂

Goal Breakdown and Week Goals are my “cure”

As you see above it is all about going deeper into an overall goal and breaking it down more on a weekly basis.

Previous goal	Redefined goals (defined weekly)
More exercise	– x number of trips to the fitness center – x number of runs – x number of walks
Loose 25 kg	– kg weight loss goal for the week – fat% loss for the week – waist in cm measure – Picture measure (body shape) – Meal plan
Meditation	– Scheduled sessions – Commit to being present
Make a computer game	– Learn Unity and complete x sections of online courses a week – Learn the basics (crawl > walk > run) – Note down ideas but be patient with starting…
Make a board game	Wait until the Computer game outcome (you can’t do it all at once!)
Become an agile coach	Wait until the Computer game outcome (you can’t do it all at once!)
– General –	All the classics – Rome was not built in a day – It is a Marathon, not a sprint – Learn the basics – Crawl before you walk, before you run…

Overall
– No rocket science here –
– No deep insights –
– Just plain old common sense –
that I needed to remind myself of…

Thank you all for reading along and see you next week

PS: Public Service Announcement: The Worst book I’ve ever read!

While today’s post does not go deep into Unity Gaming, I wanted to inform you that this “book” I’ve mentioned in my first “What’s Next” post should be avoided by anyone like the plague!

I have very high hopes for the book and it had few, but excellent reviews, but 200 pages into it, I found out that it is utter garbage with no structure, and just random topics not learning you anything coherent as the premise promises; shame on you Auther and Publisher! 🙁

What I ended up instead was buying this Unity Course on Udemy, and I can highly recommend it, as it has been awesome so far (more on that in a later post)

Life “interrupted”

A death in the family (sad but nothing tragic; very old age and expected/good given circumstances) on Monday evening took some of the focus this week, as there suddenly was a slew of practical things to help my parents with. RIP…

A different type of life “interruption” is the meditation that I now have more structure around (2×15 min each day) after completing the book “Mindfulness for Beginners”. The book is good, but at the same time, I feel I need to read it at least one more time in a more calm mind to truly appreciate it (and see if I can somehow figure out if I’m “doing it right”)… But it feels nice and that is all that matters right now…

Feel the need; The need for code and creativity!

I am a creative being and have been all my life, so 2 whole weeks of not “creating anything” must be enough and it is time to do something creative again… So I will take up Unity Game Development and see if that is fun… I will give the first status next week.

In other news

• After two weeks of breakfast experiment (having not eaten anything in the mornings for 15+years, it is “thrown out again”… It is still not the most important meal of the day for me
• The rest of the Morning running routine is here to stay as it is a perfect start of the day for me given I have the time now
• Getting into a longer/more recurring schedule for Fitness Center, so despite feeling very sore, it is the good kind of sore 🙂
• My knees are still holding up so far with the increased exercises (please let this not be jinxing that!)
• Despite all this exercise weight is still not dropping 🙁 Guess it is a mix of muscle buildup and eating too much… Need to do more in this area soon, so expect it to be a week 3/4 topic.
• Sleep quality dropped a bit this week, but given the week’s events I’m not worried, but I need to be more strict with my before-bed screen time.
• Had a good, long talk with my parents on the transition (they are from a generation where doing something like this was unheard of so good to talk about it) and also with a former colleague that has been on the same journey as me one year ago giving some good tips; Thank you “NH”!
  • In general, if anyone has questions, comments or tips feel free to reach out; there is nothing taboo here despite it being different from the norm.

See you all next week and take care… 😉